Shattered Angel
by alygdgrl
Summary: Because I love you and because you're not useless!Because I need you!Because I don't think you're a coward!Leave if you want,but never let it be said Tonks' heart was stolen by a monster,I gave it freely,my clumsy gift to my angel,Tonks yelled,he cried.
1. Chapter One:Listen

Shattered Angel

Chapter One: Listen.

Lightning tore through the sky and thunder bellowed it's presence as the wind howled. The trees swayed and groaned as the night enveloped the world with the pressure of the dark's suffocating embrace. Above, the sky ripped open and a bolt of searing lightning burned it's way to the earth. Breaking a tree in half, as if pronouncing and marking it submissive to God's wrath, a deafening crack resonated through the abandoned street.

As if answering celestial fury, a lamplight cracked and went out leaving the figures of a man and a woman basked in obscurity before a door, shadows caressing their features as the thunder concealed their appearance.

The man's eyes diligently scouted the dreary horizon, rain drops trailing from his hair down his pallid, weathered face like tears of a suffering saint. Brandishing a wand he turned to the dark door and muttered words swallowed by the heavily falling rain, leaving a tall, observant woman at his back. The door swung open, creaking and groaning with the wind, to reveal a darkly lit hallway cluttered with indiscernible objects as he stepped through the door. Glancing left and right with meticulous care, the woman retreated into the entryway, a wand in her hand, turning only when the door groaned loudly to a close.

A shuddering sigh escaped her lips as she closed her eyes and breathed heavily, leaning her back to the door. The shadows of falling rain drops from the windows on the door adorned her features as she laid shaking hands on her face. Wiping away the water from her eyes she stared forward and met the almost glowing eyes of her companion. Their heavy gazes befell one another with tired heat until the man turned without a word. She followed him silently, her fingers gently grazing the wall as she moved. Palpable quiet filled their surroundings until a heavy bang echoed from behind.

Whipping around the man stepped and caught the woman with outstanding speed as beside her, several umbrellas cluttered to the ground. He clutched her to his chest until the last of the ringing was gone, enveloping them in silence once again. His light brown eyes held her in place until his breathing calmed. His mouth twitched and as lightning ripped through the sky, his eyes caught the light and glowed yellow for only a second as he spoke, "You must be careful, Nymphadora."

Grey eyes narrowed in annoyance as her curling dark locks morphed into straight, blazing red hair, "Don't call me that."

She extracted her hands from his robes and pushed herself upright. Sidestepping him, she moved forward, her hair turning bubble gum pink as her wand became alight. Following her, the man walked behind her echoing steps with silent feet to a kitchen. He moved towards the ancient table and pulled a chair. Sitting down he put his face in his hands until he heard a tea pot begin to fizzle.

"Here," the woman offered, placing a cup in his hands.

"What is it?" he asked her looking down at the warm liquid.

"Camille. Drink, it will make you feel better," she answered sitting down opposite him and bringing her own cup to her lips.

Taking a sip, the man relaxed into his chair and said, "Thank you, Nym-I mean, Tonks."

Gently smiling, Nymphadora Tonks responded, "You're welcome, Remus."

He looked at her face, the light from their wands casting a warm glow on her pale cheeks. His eyes snapped to her hands as she directed her wand at the fireplace, making the room alight with the glowing fire. He followed her fingers as they gracefully put her wand down and reached for her cup. Shaking his head, he blinked and tried to let go of the power a simple gesture possessed over him. This always happened to him when she was around, she captivated his senses and every detail from her long eyelashes coming together to the soft wave of her hands drove him mad.

Oblivious, she gently reached for his hand and said in a low voice, "I know you may not want to talk about what just happened and I respect that, but I want you to know that if and when you're ready, I'll be here for you."

Remus looked at their touching hands, then glanced into her eyes, "I am fine. There's no need for you to stay. Go if you want. I'm sure that Mad-Eye will want you to report to him now that everyone knows Voldemort is back."

Snapping her hand back, Tonks' hair begin to turn red, "Remus, if I didn't want to be here then I wouldn't be here. You're my friend and I don't typically leave my friends when they need me."

He picked up his cup and took a careful sip. After a while he looked into her eyes and said, "I think you had better go."

Standing up abruptly, red hair flying behind her, her chair clattered noisily to the floor. Remus looked up at her expectant gaze as she stated, "If you want me to go then say it straight out. Don't be coy or mask it. You need only ask and I am gone."

He looked down at his hands and looked up as he heard her make her way to his side. "Look at me," she demanded.

"You need me right now, Remus, whether you like it or not. Stop acting as if I'm a disease and stop running away from me. I'm only trying to help. If you don't want it then I won't give it. I'm far too proud to beg. If you want me gone then say it to my face," declared Tonks, grabbing Remus's chin, forcing him to look into her eyes.

Tiredly, Remus answered, "Nymphadora, my best friend just died. What do you want me to say? If you're too proud to beg then what makes you think I will?"

Shaking her head in exasperation, Tonks snapped, "Don't call me Nymphadora! And it's not begging, you great buffoon. I'm offering you friendship. Why won't you take it?"

"I can't," Remus answered, pulling his head away.

She sank into the seat next to him and forcefully grabbed his body. Her hands on his shoulders, she stared into his eyes, the fire making them glow like liquid gold. She shook her head again and pulled him into a hug. Remus tensed beneath her arms as his breath caught. Her scent enveloped him, whispering of home, and he felt himself relaxing, his hands resting gently on her mid back.

"It's okay for you to want me here," Tonks whispered into his neck.

"Then why don't I think so?" Remus asked.

"Because you're bruised inside and won't let anyone make it all better…you won't let me make it all better," she whispered, running her fingers through his short, wet hair.

That was all it took. As she moved closer to him, his body shook with a shuddering sob. He cried and sank into her body, pressing her to his chest. He felt as if he was breaking and she was the only one that could ever make it better. His last hope, she felt like his last hope. He cried for all those times he never cried for; he cried for Sirius, brave Sirius, who gave up his life without regret, for Lily and James, for Harry, and for himself. He shook with grief as Tonks enveloped him in her arms, whispering all the while that it would be okay and he believed her.

An eternity later he pulled back and looked into her strong and stubborn eyes. He shook his head and closed his eyes only to open them in surprise as he felt warm lips against his own. He desperately wanted to want to push her away. He wished he could tell her he didn't want her there, for her own good. He wanted to tell her he was bad for her and she should run before the beast caught up with her. He wanted to tell her she should run before _he _got a hold of her. Somehow, however, all he wanted was to have her closer and closer until their bodies melted and their souls became one.

"Remus," Tonks whispered into his lips as her hand traced the side of his face, while the other rested on his chest.

Remus opened his eyes and caught her gaze. Suddenly he pushed her away and stood up abruptly, "I think it would be best if you left."

"Why?" Tonks asked with wide eyes.

"Because," Remus answered, standing up.

"That is _not _an answer, Remus Lupin. If you want me to leave, then I want to know why," Tonks demanded standing up as well.

"Because it's better that way," Remus asked moving past her.

Turning around Tonks asked, "Why?"

"Because, Tonks, it just is," Remus answered looking past her.

She turned her head and finding only the wall turned back to him, "I don't know what you think I want, but leaving is _not _it. I don't want that, Remus."

Closing his eyes, he asked what he knew he shouldn't, "Then what do you want, Tonks?"

"I want to make it all better for you. I want you to want me to make it all better for you," she said, stepping closer.

Taking a step back, Remus held up his hand in a halting motion, "Stop. You should go, Tonks."

"Why?" she asked taking another step closer.

Suddenly moving to her right, his head in his hands, Remus answered loudly, "Because, Tonks, because! You deserve to be out there, with other people who won't suck away what light you have within."

Laughing, Tonks grabbed his hands, "Don't be so melodramatic, Remus. You speak of yourself as if you're a monster."

Narrowing his eyes he tried feebly to extract his hands, "I am a monster, Tonks. You have no idea what I am."

"What? A werewolf? Is that what this is about? You think I don't know? Well I do and I DON'T care. What do I care if you're furry once a month as long as I get to have you the other thirty days?" Tonks defied.

"You have no idea what you're speaking of!" Remus exclaimed.

"What are you so afraid of?" Tonks questioned taking his face tenderly in her hands. "What scares you so, Remus Lupin?"

Taking in a deep breath, a silent tear falling from his eyes, Remus answered the only woman he had ever cried for, "The fact that I know how wrong I am for you and yet I still have you here."

"Don't worry, Remus. I'll protect you from yourself until you realize that you're more amazing then words could ever say," Tonks whispered gently.

"I think you should leave," Remus whispered back.

"Then why don't you tell me to go?" Tonks asked, her eyes memorizing every feature of his face.

With fiery glowing eyes and a trailing tear, he whispered his worst fear, "Because I don't want you to go."

She kissed him and guilt raved in his mind just as his heart exploded with hope, _beause I want you with me_ left unspoken. Like a drowning man, he clang to her. His mind whispered a delayed good-bye while his heart cried for an eternity in her arms. As she opened her eyes and stared adoringly into his, his heart seemed to break once again, the realization he was to be a monster, break her heart, was enough to break his. As she kissed him again, however, for a second in time his mind betrayed him and whispered in the smallest of hopes that this would last an eternity and that safely in her arms, he would never be a monster again.

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**This is my new fanfic. I hope you enjoy it. It is going to be about Tonks and Remus's journey to acceptance and love. It begins after Sirius' death and will continue up until their marriage. Please REVIEW.**

**Yours humbly,**

**Aly.**


	2. Chapter Two: Feel Me

Shattered Angel

Chapter Two: Feel Me

The rickety benches creaked under the weight of the many assembled Order Members in Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. Noise exploded everywhere, sending him into a frenzy. Hushed whispers tantalized his ears, the gentle brush of clothing sent shivers down his spine, and the rustle of papers sent his body tingling, driving him insane. Caught words and trailing syllables made him look down, his faced flushed, wanting out of irrepressible instinct to sniff them out. A lithe, graceful hand settled at the nape of his neck and began to trace it softly up and down, bringing Nymphadora's aroma wafting around him, threatening to send him over the edge. As her hand tensed and she moved her body forward, addressing someone, Remus Lupin dug his fingers into the bench, all he could do to stop himself from rolling on the floor, basking in her scent.

The shadows played on the soft purple fabric of her cloak. Light reflect off in odd angles and his eyes followed the exploding colors, blue, black, red, yellow, like a rainbow born and taken away as the shadows claimed it to darkness once again. Suddenly her voice in his ear, her hand on his shoulder, her smell in his every pore, and beyond her the smell of the plant on the window seal obscuring the almost full moon. Then there, deep in his stomach, hammering in his heart, the irresistible wish to howl and bask under that light.

"Remus? Remus, are you listening?" Nymphadora Tonks aske, her lips brushing gently against Remus Lupin's ear.

Shaking his head with closed eyes, Remus bought time to respond, gently removing her fingers from his shoulders and getting up, "I'm sorry, I was distracted. What did you say?"

Looking into his eyes with the most beautiful expression of puzzlement, Tonks asked once again, "I was asking you if you agree with, Kingsley? You know, about what actions should be taken now that Voldemort is now known to be back."

"Of course he agrees, Tonks. He knows that we have to begin recruiting in order to even have a chance at defeating Voldemort. Now that it is known that he is back, we have to think strategically and move forward. Right, Remus?" Kingsley asked looking to Remus.

Before he could speak, Tonks impatiently swiped at the air with her hand and said, "They will come, Kingsley. Now that they know, they will come. Our main priority at the moment is putting up guards around Hogwarts and reinforcing the safety of the castle so that Harry and all the other kids can be safe. We have go to do our best to put up every charm and spell in order to protect the castle. If Voldemort targets the next generation of wizards, we are doomed. Now that they know, the Aurors will flock to Mad-Eye; we don't have to worry about that."

"Just because you idolize Mad-Eye and see him as a god does not mean the others will. Because of his allegiance to Dumbledore, most will only think of him as a crazed fool," Kingsley retorted in a loud voice, irritation plain on his features.

Drawing her wand and pointing it at his neck, Tonks narrowed her eyes and said through gritted teeth, "Don't you ever insult Alabastor Moody in my presence."

Resting a heavy hand on her wand arm, Moody lowered it to her side, "Play nice, Nymphadora. He wasn't trying to say anything. Besides, you call me that every other day."

Glancing back, her hair turning red, Tonks snapped, "Don't call me Nymphadora! And just because I call you something does not mean anyone else can call you that too. You may be a crazed old fool, but I'll be damned if anyone else says it but me."

Smiling gruffly, Mad-Eye pointed across the room. Tonks swiveled on her heel and marched across the room, snorting in annoyance. She thrust her wand into her cloak and begin to bite her nails. Looking up she caught Remus' eye and with a small surprised smile winked at him. Smiling in spite of himself, Remus walked towards her.

"You should be nicer to your elders," Remus said softly, finally reaching her.

"Kingsley should just learn to bite his tongue. He's not thinking things through. Everything will finally start moving; what we need to do is worry about the children. If Voldemort gets to them then there will be nothing left worth fighting for," Tonks exclaimed exasperatedly.

Pulling his cardigan coat around him Remus smiled sadly, "I forget how young you are, Tonks. Just because Voldemort has come out, it does not mean everyone will put up arms. If anything, it means that everyone will be in a panic, not knowing what to do. You're right about what you're saying, don't get me wrong. All I'm saying is that Kingsley has got a point too."

Her smile falling Tonks looked into his eyes and asked, "Do you really think I'm that young, Remus? Do you really see me as a child, not capable of mature understanding or of legitimate feelings?"

Looking away from her Remus answered, "I don't think that at all, Nymphadora. I think you're a wonderful person. You're an excellent witch and a marvelous woman."

"Then if you think that, then why haven't you talked to me in two weeks? Why do you avoid me and leave the rooms when I come in? Why don't you gather enough courage to look me in the eye and simply tell me that I'm not wanted? You play coy and walk away, but I catch you looking at me, Remus. I see the way you look at me when no one is watching. I see the way you want to come to me. Why won't you just tell me what you want?" Tonks asked fiercely, tears stinging her eyes.

"Tonks-" Remus began, putting up a hand as if to touch her and then letting it drop.

With a shake of her head and without another word, Tonks turned and walked out the door. Remus shook with the desire to trail after her, burying his nose in her skin, running his fingers through her hair, and with a shuddering sigh at his weakness, he followed her. He trailed her scent all the way upstairs to a room she had taken to sleep in when she was too exhausted to even Apparate. He stopped outside the door and swallowed.

He gently opened the door and stepped through to find her sitting Indian style on the bed, staring at the wall. She glanced at him and in a cold voice said, "Get out."

Stepping back as if slapped, Remus asked with crestfallen certainty, "You don't want me here?"

Groaning in frustration, Tonks threw a pillow at him, "You stupid git! How do you want me to spell it out for you? I _do_ want you here; everyday, I want you here. You, though, you don't want _me._ You push me away constantly, so that you know what, fine. _Fine_, I give. You don't want me around, so I won't trail after you like a lost puppy."

Remus smiled in irony, if she only knew that it was him following her; if she only knew it was him fighting the need to go to her with such urgency, "Nymphadora Tonks, if there's one thing you never do, that is following someone."

Growling deep in her throat, she grabbed the other pillow and threw it at him. She took off her cloak and sent it flying towards him, "You fantastic _moron_! You're right, I never go after anyone. I never chase and I most certainly never beg. I'm brash, but I never leave myself defenseless. With you, though; with you, all that flies out of the window. With you I have to fight to not touch you. I'm fucking Tonks; I don't do this."

"Nymphadora," Remus said with a strangled voice. He buried his face in her cloak, the smell it evoked, the most tantalizing of perfumes. Suddenly he looked up at her and _Mine_ rang through his head. He threw the cloak down, wand landing with a bang, and leaped on top of her. His position forced her to lie down looking up at him, cowering over her on all fours.

His eyes glowed with the moon light that shone through the small window to their left. His lips quivered as his lowered his face to her hair and inhaled deeply. A deep rumbling sound came from his throat as he lowered his face down, burrowing his nose in the hollow of her neck. Regaining his senses he looked up at her and said in deep voice, "Do you see now why I'm dangerous? Do you understand now what I am?"

With wide eyes, Tonks brought a tentative hand to the side of his face. She stared in wonderment and after a few moments she breathed, "You're the only person that I ever let call me Nymphadora."

Suddenly, he didn't know how or who initiated it, but their lips crashed and her taste enveloped his senses. Fumbling hands touched skin and he couldn't tell if it was his or hers, but suddenly his coat and his shirt were off and he was on top of her, bare chested. He growled in frustration and he suddenly knew that her clothes, her clothes had to be gone. Seconds later, with barely contained tugs, her shirt went flying and her skirt slipped off, pushed down by a pair of clumsy movements. Her shoes tumbled to the ground and like magic, her bra and underwear were gone.

A small triumphant howl escaped him as his own pants and boxers were lost on the ground with hers. He stared at her in wonderment, the light from the moon making her shine to him. Colors, colors flew off her skin and her scent was intoxicating. She was beautiful and her every caress to his back drove him mad. He had never touched anyone this closed to the full moon and suddenly she became like a drug to him. He smelled her up and down and with fierce velocity pulled her on top of him.

Tonks looked into his eyes, face flushed, and kissed him, his scarred face alluring and beautiful with his amazing eyes. His stomach flat beneath her with not enough food and too much work. Toned and hard, his stomach complimented his toned arms. He was beautiful and she wanted to cry. She was lost in him, how could she ever go back? With tumbling movements they were beneath their covers.

No stumbling passion occurred, just their soft breathing as he drowned in the wonderment of having her beside him. Regaining part of himself Remus said sadly, "Everything will be different in the morning."

"I know," Tonks said softly.

"Just lay with me, okay?" Remus asked trailing a finger on her stomach.

Inhaling deeply and with a gasp, Tonks nodded. They laid together like that for an eternity. They held each other closer and deeper, sex contained by the simple urge to touch and be touched. Without thinking Tonks began to sing him a beautiful lullaby, broken only here and there by a soft kiss. He sank into her and clutched her to him.

He didn't understand. Nothing made sense. She was young and beautiful and he was so plainly wrong for her. His mind sent excuse after excuse for leaving, none less than guilt, guilt which hid just beneath the surface, guilt which he couldn't readily feel at the moment as she hummed a beautiful little tune into his ear. It would be there tomorrow, but now, right now, all he could think about was the feeling as she pulled him tighter. All he could see was her skin next to his and all he wanted was to sleep a peace filled sleep just for tonight, basking in the moonlight.

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**Please REVIEW. I BEG you!!! Tell me what you think. I adore you added this as your favorite story, but I want REVIEWS. Tell me what you think so far. I would also like to give credit to author Laurell K. Hamilton for some of my ideas.**

**Humbly yours, **

**-Aly.**


	3. Chapter Three: Believe

Shattered Angel

Chapter Three: Believe

He woke up, listening to the water fall, almost but not quite like cascading rain. She was there. There, in the middle, her body caressed and enveloped by the warm embrace of the water. She blinked, just now, and took in a long, cleansing breath. She was there, just there, out of reach. Suddenly, he had to get up, his protesting body meaning nothing with the need to smell his way to her. There, she was just there, a few steps more. Up the stairs, her scent lingered making his senses explode with the need to find her. Left, there, the last door in the hall, she was there, just there.

His breathed heavily as his feet silently padded on the dark, warm wooded floor. Everything, every noise, the feel of the wood beneath the soles of his feet like smooth perfection drove him to move, to discover. Outside, a woman was jogging and she kicked a rock, making it land with a breathtaking splash. The leaves rustled with the wind's whispered laughed, marvelous in it's impossibly abstract way. He stopped abruptly, fighting to keep from weeping at the uselessness of trying to capture the beauty in his fumbling, shaking hands.

There, she rested her head against the wall and her eyes closed. He had to keep moving. Driven by her smell, which even the water could not wash away, he made his way to the door. He gazed at it, watching the shadows and colors emitted from it's dingy but shining surface. He was entranced and resented it's presence. There, she was just there. Just past the door, she whispered, "_Remus._"

His heart stopped and it was all he could do to detain the necessary urge to rip the door off it's hinges with the strength building up at the pit of his stomach, threatening to appear. He inhaled a deep breath and leaned his head against the door, listening to the pitter-patter as the water fell and was interrupted by her body. Her body, her warms and amazing body, which he didn't need to ever see again to describe entirely. His head suddenly snapped back, his palms on the door as if trying to physically melt through the door, as he heard a muffled sob. Tears were falling from her face, mingling with the water, and he had to put his arms around himself to keep from barging in.

His knees buckled underneath him and he had to catch himself as around him, her magic ruffled the air. Inside, Tonks lavished in the feel of the water against her tired body. Her hair changed from purple to dark, long, curly locks that reached her waist. Tears fell from her eyes, as _Remus_ escaped her lips over and over. She didn't really know why she chanted; she didn't know if it was for the frustration she felt every time he ignored her after an intimate moment, for his constant presence in her mind, or for the simple and inevitable need to have him hold her. She was so tired, so unbelievably tired; work had worn her out and she couldn't even find the strength to leave Number Twelve Grimmauld Place after coming here to report on her surveillance for the past two days.

She turned off the water and wiped away her tears. Beneath her eyes, dark circles dimmed her usually bright grey eyes. Inspired by the momentary feeling of bliss the warm water had brought about, her eyes turned bright emerald green, like Harry's. She wrapped a tower around herself and stepped out of the tub. She moved lethargically to the door and opened it.

"Remus," she exclaimed in surprise, her hair turning bubble gum pink, as she stepped back and closed the door in his face.

A soft knock echoed from the outside as Remus lightly asked, "Are you okay, Dora?"

Her face flushed with embarrassment and pleasure as she gently opened the door once again, "I'm fine Remus. Why would you think anything is wrong?"

Before he could stop himself, a slender finger trailed down her cheek, "Because I heard you crying."

Tonks closed her eyes as she felt the tension leave her body at his touch, "I'm fine, Remus. I'm just exhausted and scared and, I'm just being silly."

Remus searched her face, noticing the dark circles under her eyes, and finding her morphed grey eyes, beautiful, "You're working too hard."

"So are you," she accused, moving past him to her room, even as her body protested at the loss of contact.

Shaking his head with sleep ruffled hair, he followed her, into the warmth of her room. The fire crackled and sent a wave of welcomed head around them. Without hesitation, taking his breath away, she threw off the towel and began to put on underwear. She lathered her body with lotion, then laid down on her bed. "I forgot my pajamas," she whispered with closed eyes.

Without any conscious thought, Remus ripped his shirt from his body and handed it to her. Sitting on the bed, Tonks smiled as she pulled on his too big shirt. Her heart thumped loudly as she realized that his smell was weaved into every fiber of the cloth. She looked up to his chuckling face and at once realized that he knew, that he had _heard_, her heart literally skip a beat for him.

"Remus, I've got an offer for you. You can come here and lay down with me, sleep with your arms around me, or you can leave if you will be guilt ridden the moment you touch me. Quite frankly, I don't think I could take watching you succumb to yourself for feeling anything for me," Tonks said sleepily, with a determined voice.

Remus' laugh stopped at once as he stared at her. Quite frankly, he didn't think he could take feeling himself succumb to himself for feeling anything for her, either. Besides, everything hurt and all he wanted was to lay in her warm embrace. He had been asleep for two straight days, but even so, his body cried for him to relax his aching muscles. Without a second thought and catching her by surprise, Remus pulled the covers back and slipped into the bed. Looking at him with apprehension, Tonks slipped in next to him, internally dreading he would change his mind.

He pulled her into his arms and bathed in her scent. Having her in his arms sent shivers running down his spine, his skin so sensitive that even her gentle kiss claimed a moan from his lips. Tonks pulled back and with wide eyes said, "You're eyes are back to their usual blue color."

Silently nodding, Remus explained, "My eyes change colors with the upcoming full moon. In the week previous to the change they turn brown and once I change, they turn back to normal."

Gasping, Tonks asked, "You just changed, didn't you? I've been so busy that I forgot. The full moon was only three days ago."

"Yes," Remus nodded, "and I've been asleep for the last two. It's always like this, I ache for a week after I change back and am incredibly sensitive to everything. Do you realize how amazing you smell, Nymphadora Tonks?"

Blushing, Tonks asked, "Is that why every time I see you, you always take a minute to close your eyes and sniff the air? Is it because you can smell everything better than you can see it?"

"Yes, and no. That is to say, yes, everything smells better than only sight could tell, but my sight too is incredibly sensitive. It's you, though, that makes me do that. Your scent drives me mad, even when it's not close to the full moon. Everything about you sends my senses on fire when I see you," Remus answered, too sleepy to take any heed about telling her things he had never shared with anyone else.

"Tomorrow things will be different, won't they?" Tonks asked as tears slipped from her eyes.

"No, Nymphadora. Even if I fight to keep myself from you, nothing is ever different with you anymore. You've got me in your hands, even if you don't realize it," Remus said, trailing tiny circles on her stomach, beneath his shirt.

"Even if you don't like it?" Tonks asked, biting her lip.

Putting a hand on her chin, Remus whispered, "It's not that I don't like it, Dora. How could I not when everything is so amazingly _more_ when you're around? It's more to do with what I think is best for you."

"And what if I think you're the best for me," she asked as her heart broke with his beauty. His hair shone with the fire and his scars gleamed as the light hit them, and in spite of them, because of them, she thought, he was the most amazing creature she would ever behold.

"Then that will have to be enough for tonight, won't it?" Remus stated with a sleepy smile.

Besides him, Tonks began to strip off all of her clothes, making them land on the floor, close to the fire, "Lay naked with me."

Without a question, Remus took off his pants and pulled her to him, reveling in the feel of the gentle swell of her breasts against his chest, of her firm stomach against his on, of her impossibly long legs entwined with his own. Not knowing why, if only for comfort, Remus asked her, "Tell me a story?"

With no hesitation, Tonks looked into his eyes and began to whisper, "There once was a woman who was captivated by a man who thought he was a beast. Her captivity, though, was not physical, but of the heart."

She paused and gave him a small kiss, "Every time she saw him, air seemed to fail her and her heart thumped loudly and fast against her chest, threatening to break free. Every time she held him, her body burned and her stomach exploded with butterflies. Every time she saw him smile, that sad, heartbroken smile, her heart broke and all she wanted was to protect him from all the bad things in all the world."

"This woman was strong, but around him all of her defenses seemed useless. With a word he had her ready to give up her life for him and with a kiss, she had her ready to give up his soul. Still, tough, he thought he was a beast and this woman suddenly realized that it was all up to her to make him see that it wasn't in spite of the beast that she loved him, but because of _everything_ he was. The beast was beautiful in her eyes, and the man more amazing than anyone she had ever met," she continued, lulling him to sleep.

"And she knew, that he would come to her again and again, because in spite of himself, he knew, like she knew, that theirs was something that not even they could fight. Besides, how could they resist it, when this woman could resist everything but temptation?" she asked, brining forth an intoxicating laugh from his lips. There was a hint of a growl and an unsheltered innocence that rang like bells around them. It was the first time he had laughed with her like that, without any sadness, and she thought she was going to cry.

"He couldn't resist her and she couldn't resist him, because their love was the timeless love of beauty and the beast," she whispered and knew was the truth, "well, of a bubble gum pink haired beauty and an amazingly beautiful and tender man, who couldn't see everything she saw in him."

Remus looked in her eyes and saw reflected the truth of what she saw. There, she was just _there,_ in his arms. She was his beauty, and he loved her; in spite of himself, he loved her. There, just there, in her own amazing way, she made him believe that he was everything deep down he knew he was, merely a man with such complexities that intrigued and seduced her to no end. Even that didn't matter, though; the realization was beautiful, but even _it_ didn't matter. All that mattered was that there, just there, they lay, beauty and the beast.

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**Thank you for reading. PLEASE REVIEW. I really like this story and would love to hear back from you. Again, I would like to give credit to Laurell K. Hamilton, because she has given me inspiration in writing this with her amazing work. If you like my work, I also HAVE ANOTHER FANFIC CALLED BROKEN!**

**Love, **

**Aly.**


	4. Chapter 4:Soft Touch

Shattered Angel

Chapter Four: Soft Touch

The water trailed down his body as he slowly let his head fall against the shower wall. So much like raindrops, they made crystalline paths down his stomach sending shivers running through his body. His hands trembled as he ran them through his wet hair and his lips shook as the cascades of sensual sensation sent his mind reeling, seeing explosive colors behind closed lids. As the droplets struck the ground, so loud with its soft clamor, a strangled moan escaped his lips as all around him the music of beauty permeated his body and branded him with the tinkling of pureness.

Lost, too wrapped in a cocoon of senseless oblivion, the clamor of the door as it opened with a crashing bang sent him to his knees. It was too much, all too much, and as her devouring scent enveloped him in it's drowning wraps, a soft little cry escaped him as tears ran down his face. Naked as the day he was born, he kneeled shaking, cold and hot all at the same time, happy and scared, but most of all drowning within himself, unable to escape. Her touch ripped a cry from his lips as he suddenly felt the loss of jingles and chimes and the water was no more. "Nymphadora," he whispered, as his liquid gold eyes opened and longed for salvation.

"Remus," she answered and he forgot to breath. All there was, all there would ever be, is her scent and her face and for all he would ever be worth, all he wanted was to be in her arms.

As her magic rippled the air with a startling chill and gripped him with fierce protection, he was suddenly aware again and for the first time, he saw that she was furious. Yet, as the tears ceased and wonder commenced, all he cared about was the overpowering need to have her close. Without warning, she turned and walked away and he was left to follow her in desperation, need courted by frustration by the beast caged within him wanting, claming, her as his.

Anger surged through his body as his clumsy steps took him what appeared to be no closer than he had previously been. The need was overpowering, filling his entire being, and his body completely incapable of moving any faster. Left with nothing to do, helpless and furious, a howl surged from deep within his stomach and escaped him, pronouncing his heart, and with no conscious thought aside from needing her, he leapt with liquid grace on all fours, moving with muscles no human ever had, and all he knew was she would soon be by his side, his queen, his mate, his love.

He raced past the door, feeling the breeze of the disrupted air, and leapt on her, capturing her on his bed. Without warning, her magic sent him crashing through the air onto the opposite wall as she stood red faced and enraged, pointing her wand at his chest. His mind, far too gone into the abyss of need, urged him to get her, not understanding she didn't want him like he did. He stepped forward, taking her in her arms, and was pushed back by the miniscule force of her fist punching his cement like chest.

Puzzled, he stepped to her again and again as she pushed him back, until anger tore another howl from his mouth and he could do nothing more than to capture her lips in his. Gasping with relief, Remus felt the overwhelming sensation of home as the beast quieted and satisfaction flowed through his being. A tear touched his face and stepping back as if burned, Remus looked into Tonks' eyes as they changed from blue to a fierce shade of magenta.

Before he could open his mouth, her angry inquiry tore through the air as she turned and round kicked his abdomen, making him take a step back, "How could you? How could you, you senseless bastard? How could you tell Dumbledore you'd volunteer to go with the werewolves? How could you tell him it would be for the '_best_?' Who the fuck gave you the right to say that you leaving would be for the best?"

With a need even stronger than to be with her in his arms, to protect his mate, clarity tore through his mind until the wolf was kept at bay and he could answer, "It is necessary."

"What, am I not even taken into consideration? Don't I have a say?" Tonks asked as her hair changed colors from red to purple and blue to red.

"No," he answered, heading from the door, not willing the be talked out of what he knew he must do.

"Arrgggh, you fantastic moron!" she cried as a vase his the wall by the door as he was about to step through it, "You don't get to walk away. You don't get to not give me a chance to tell you how marvelously _stupid_ you're being! You can't leave. Remus, you can't leave. I won't let you."

Turning faster than her eyes could catch, fierce determination set his face as his eyes hardened and he silently spoke, "You don't get a choice in the matter, Nymphadora."

Biting her lip before a frustrated scream burst from her, she replied, "FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU, YOU MISERABLE OAF! HO-WHA-HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME?"

Tears ran down in angry streaks as her closed fists trembled at her sides, "I'm here every day, every fucking day, to help you, to love you, even when you don't want me around. I'm here, every day, wanting to make you see that you mean more to me than anyone I have ever been with, that you mean more to me than anyone I have ever met. I take your refusals and swallow your rejection because I know that you want me just as much as I want you.

"How can you tell me that I don't have a say on whether or not you go and get yourself killed in Greyback's territory? HOW CAN YOU TELL ME I DON'T HAVE A CHOICE ON WHETHER OR NOT I LOSE YOU?"

"Tonks," Remus whispered in a pained voice.

"NO, you know what I wonder the most, though?" she asked him, laughing with false irony, "What I wonder the most is how I can love such a coward. I wonder how you can be _such _a coward. I had to find out through Mad-Eye because you're too scared to tell me to my face. Or is it that you really just don't give a shit? Tell me, TELL ME! I don't feel like playing your fool any longer. Tell me what you want right now and I'll leave, because I'm fucking tired of playing your fool, Remus Lupin."

"Tonks," Remus repeated unable to stop himself from taking a step towards her even as she took a step back.

"No, not anymore. I won't take your petty explanations and pretend I understand. I don't and I'm beginning to think I should start listening to Moody. Maybe he's right, maybe he's been right all along and you're to fucking stuck in yourself, in your self pity, to love anyone else. Maybe he's completely fucking right in saying you don't know what love is, in saying you'll only hurt me and leave me aside," she said, hoping her words could hurt him as much as he was hurting her.

Anger inflamed his body, not at her bitter and confused and hurt words, but at the fact Moody pretended to know how he. Rationality left him as he tore the door from it's hinges with a resounding _CRACK _threw it with ease against the far end of the hall against the wall. "ENOUGH! HOW CAN _YOU_ NOT UNDERSTAND THAT I'M DOING THIS FOR YOU? I don't give a damn about Moody or anyone else that thinks they know how I feel about you. I don't even think you realize how _much_ I want you, how much I need you, above all else, how much I want to _protect _you.

"I love you so much I'm willing to leave you for you to be safe! How can you not see that, Nymphadora? How can I explain to you that everything I do now is not only for myself? How can I make you understand that it is not simply my insecurities that drive me away, but the awesome need to make sure that you are safe?" he finished, his eyes glowing and his cheeks flushed.

Glaring at him, not flinching, she shot back in a deathly whisper, "How many times have I told you, how many times do I have to tell you, that you are not dangerous to me? How many times do I have to tell you that you being a werewolf means nothing to the way I feel about you? I accept and even enjoy the fact that you are one, because it makes you amazing, and love you because of it, not in spite of it. How can I spell it out for you so that you may finally understand?"

Shaking with dry laughter Remus retorted, "Nymphadora, do you really think that's all there is? Look around, we're in the middle of war with the second greatest wizard the face of the world has ever seen. We're at war with a psychopath who hates half-bloods and detests half-breeds. How do you think he feels about werewolves? Sure, he uses them, but it's no small secret that he hates _everyone _with 'tinted' blood. How do you think he would react if he found out the cousin to Sirius Black was involved with a mangy dog? What do you think he would do to you? I will not find out; I refuse to let it get that far."

"You don't get that choice," Tonks replied, anger sipping out of her, slowly being replaced by a sense of hopeless desperation that left her wanting to race into his arms and bury herself within him.

"Yes, I do," Remus answered looking at her square in the face.

Brining her hands to her face in a childish gesture as if to block all that hurt her, Nymphadora Tonks fell to the ground in a heap of dry sobs. Above all else, it hurt her more to know what she had known all along. It hurt her more to know that he was doing this not because he was afraid of loving her, but because he loved her so much it was the only way he could see to preserve her safety. It hurt her the most ,as he stood naked, elegant, and beautiful before her, to know that she would do the exact same thing.

Taking a few steps forward, he cradled her gingerly in his arms as she cried onto his shoulder. Her tiny voice rang against his ear brining enormous joy as her euphonious needless excuses escaped from her in a rush she couldn't quite contain, "You can't go. It's so close to the new moon that you'd be in danger. Besides, where would you get food and shelter? How would you make your way into the mountains by yourself anyway, especially now? I need you, don't go. Don't go, don't go, don't go…I love you, don't go."

His lips captured hers as the fight left her and all there was between them was the pure and suffocating essence of love. He kissed her gingerly, softly, and moved to her neck as he pulled back and took off her shirt before discarding her bra. His mouth latched on to her breast as a strangled cry between emotional pain and heartfelt pleasure left her. He pulled down her skirt and along the way took off her boots, before moving up again and latching on to her lips once again.

Gently, he moved his hand down and tore her underwear off, leaving his access to do with her what he wished. He kissed his way down her neck, giving her butterfly kisses on each breast, capturing each nipple, before moving down her stomach, making her breath hitch. He raised himself on his elbows and looked down at her, the colors shining from her skin, the smell of her engulfing him, and as he licked his lips, he heard her heart skip a beat for him and chuckled with delight.

He opened her legs and staring into her eyes, he moved himself between her and pushed in, tearing a pleasured gasp from her throat. The tears were forgotten as her eyes clouded with lust and an emotion too deep to simply be love. The wolf with in him stared out at her, him, as she had always known, not a different entity, but part of all he was. In that moment, the realization that this was his mate, his love, forever, until death do they part, made him stop and stare at her face, before he grabbed her bottom lip and nibbled on it, before pushing in hard with such force that stars exploded behind her eyes and breath escaped her, as her legs curled around him. They moved in an almost choreographed rhythm, together, one. For an eternity they swam in the pleasure that was their love and nothing mattered but all they were.

Hours later, after their breaths had calmed and their sweat had dried, Remus stared at Nymphadora, _his_ Dora, and ran his hands on her body with a soft touch. Tomorrow he would leave her and the pain of the realization squeezed his heart by the hand of sorrow's anguish. Kissing her and shaking his head, he gathered her closer to him. Tomorrow would come, the letter to which she would wake up to, alone, was ready. For now all that mattered, to him and the wolf, to both, who he was, one entity, was to be at peace for one night enveloped in the threshold of love, her love, his love…their eternal love, as complex and strong as the wolf within him that howled before he lowered himself onto the pillow and surrendered unwillingly to sleep.

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**Hey everyone! Sorry it's taken so long to update, but AP is keeping me busy at school. I really hope you guys liked it and now more than ever I NEED REVIEWS TO KEEP GOING. Please tell me what you think, feedback is always useful. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING AND PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Love,**

**Aly.**


	5. Chapter Five: Then, home

Shattered Angel

Chapter Five: Then, home

The bone-chilling wind flew ferociously, slashing the world with it's freezing slap, whipping the man's dark cloak, sending it dancing, flirting against the winter's cold, stoic touch with the angry agility of a neglected lover's pain-filled rage. His hair flew askew as he closed his pleasure filled eyes, a soft pink caressing his porcelain cheeks as he shuddered and tightened around him his protective cocoon. He moved through the snow effortlessly, his feet grazing the snow with the softest of touches, leaving behind a faint trail almost indiscernible against the soft paleness so much like the ruffled wings of a despondent angel.

Infuriating frustration flashed across his features as his back tensed and the colors danced before him, close, so close…his black shoes covering the encompassing whiteness increasingly faster like dark angel's dark wings finally embracing purity. There, just there! A strangled sob broke from his chest, despairing and painful, as light finally reached the contours of his desperation, making the colors dance and the scent engulf him as, like a drowning man's first breath, the kiss of her presence solidified and he could know nothing more but his beating heart as he fought the pull even the moon could never equal, so close, _so_ _painfully_ _close_…

_She _stood there, statuesque and beautiful, a dashing taste of perfection, cloak closed, wand in her hand. Her short brown hair flew madly with the wind, teasing a mate as wild as its horizons, as she scouted all around her, Hogwarts at her back, making her more regal and more beautiful than his heart could handle. His wolf cried out inside him, whimpered, wanting to howl, his heart about to break. His lips parted in a gasp, a tear sliding down his face, etching to the world with tender, warm ferocity to the world , like the tamest of rivers, the tame less beating of his heart for the love that his hands numbly tingled to hold. A gust of wind blew against her, playing with his heart, and her scent, there, _there, _broke reached him, breaking, _slashing_ the austere wall he had built for so long. He crashed to his knees and she tensed immediately, deathly perfection, and he couldn't breath.

Her cloak escaped in winter's cold arms as her hands dropped to her side, stricken, pallid and scared, her eyes too wide and more afraid than he had ever seen, hoping past all hope. The whistling wind mourned around them as they moved forward, pulled by Fate's playful wish, shaken and frightened, knowing nothing more butt his warm, glowing eyes and her icy, broken gaze. The light cascaded around her, the snow making her glow, and his body shivered as his heart raced, and all there was the irrepressible _need_ to be home. And so, they crashed into each others' arms, heaving and shaking, falling into the perfect conformity in each others' arms that not even time could erase from their depths.

A resonating "crack" cried with the wind as they moved through space and time, the front door of Number 12 Grimmauld Place clattering open and shut as clumsy fingers drew away clothes that were suddenly too many, that proved to be entirely too unnecessary. Rolling waves of magic made him moan and gasp against her lip as soft, thick waves of pink hair flowed down her shoulders, her gray eyes alight with passion and the knowledge that tomorrow did not matter because nothing but him standing next to her would mean living and nothing in the world could equal their love.

Stair steps disappeared beneath them as they fell onto the bed, flushed and out of breath. Beneath her, Remus Lupin sat up and with shaking fingers tried to slip off her t-shirt, ripping it in frustration, as she stared into his eyes, Nymphadora Tonks, his love, his world, his all. He crashed his lips into hers, fighting not to cry losing only when her small, broken sobs threatened to shatter his heart. Inside him, fighting and powerful, his wolf stirred, fighting his own need to howl for the sake of the need of the smell, of the touch, of the one thing the animal understood more clearly than all the forest floors of all the worlds.

"Nymphadora," Remus breathed, closing his eyes as he cradled her face, touching their foreheads, doing all he could do to not attack her with the ardor his beast was shaking with.

With blurred, liquid fluidity, Remus pulled her beneath him as his lips silenced her strangled chant, "Remus, Remus, Remus…"

Clumsy and struggling, her fingers released him of his clothes as he captured her lips, moving down, sniffing, smelling every part of her body that belonged to him, that were interminably _his_. He shifted between her legs as she fought to crawl into him and stared at her with liquid gold eyes, shivering as her skin shined, as her scent drowned, as her touch burned. It was inevitable, necessary, _heart_-_breaking_…

He clasped her hands in his above her head and looked into her eyes before he plunged into her, stealing a gasp, her legs embracing his back as he remained still. "My Dora," he said, lacking rationality, knowing only instinct.

"Remus," she returned, her eyes dilated with lust, her voice low and husky.

He rocked back and into her again, shaking with need, but needing it to last eternity. He reached her _there, _took her moaning and gasping, drinking every sound, tasting her sight. Her body, like an extension of his own, moved with him, inviting, urging, needing. It was in her face, the pain, the hope, the love, everything that was felt, but which neither could possibly understand. For how could they? How could they understand the need so deep and true as the need to breath, eat, drink? How could they understand, how could they possibly understand, that which Lady Love and Fate could not understand? That need, that need, that was more than what was meant to be felt. A love more deep than was meant to be love. Obsession courted by madness unendingly flirting with passion.

In unison, panting, moaning, they came; her back arched and it was enough, too much, and all that enveloped them was the noise of his howling, as the wolf bathed in the waters of finally leaving loneliness if only for a short repose. They lay there, perspiring and sticky, the wind howling wildly outside, in each others' arms, holding each other with an almost painful clasp, both too afraid it would not last, both too afraid the other would disappear.

"Dora, my Dora," Remus whispered into her ear, making her shake, her heart skipping a beat, bringing forth a chuckle he could not repress.

Suddenly, with a brutality of too much rage, she pushed him brusquely away, standing, naked and glorious and angrier than Rage herself. She glared at him, her hair turning red and waving, making him shudder and close his eyes with a cry. "Ho-Don't you dare make me hope. Don't you dare make me hope."

He reached for her and she fled him, striking him with a blow that would surely destroy him. "I'm sorry."

She crumbled to the ground as her wand less magic send the fireplace crackling. Her sobs echoed through the room as he stood, not knowing what to do, useless and afraid. Cold fear gripped him as he tried to reach her only to have her reject him, continuously, unendingly. "Nymphadora," he pleaded, for his sake just as much as for hers.

She shook her head as sobs broke her, "No, no more. I can't take this. You cannot make me ache this way again. I will not let you make me be this way. You can't make me feel something I don't want to feel."

"Nymphadora."

"NO. No more! I won't let you. It is too much, _too _much. You leave then you come back here and you don't understand what you do to me. I can't," she shook her head, "no more."

"I need you," he answered, there, spoken, frankly, finally.

Her cold laughter seized his heart in a painful clasp, "No, Remus. You don't know what need is. I used to think need didn't exist. Want, maybe, but never _need_. And here _I_ am, needing you, Remus, _needing _you. Needing you because every breath is painful and I feel like a romantic fool enough that at times I feel like ending it all, because surely death is better than being alive this way."

"I had to go," he answered, lamely, in his mind, in hers, needing an excuse.

"You need not do anything, Remus. Do me at least the favor of being honest. If this be the end of what we are, at _least _be honest with me," Nymphadora asked as her tears trailed down her face.

"I'm so-I can't let you go," Remus answered, finality replacing the doubt in his glowing eyes.

"You already did," she answered, looking away.

"Nymphadora," Remus Lupin said, grasping her shoulders, pulling her to look at him, "I can't take it back. I can't take it back; I would if I could. I would, anything for you. _Anything. _I'm here now. I'm here now, because I had to crawl back, because it felt as if my skin was burning without you and now it's burning with you. I had to come back because _I _couldn't breath. I came back because it does not matter that Fenrir may kill me because I would face death if only for one moment in your arms."

Her chin pushed stubbornly as her eyes flashed with stubborn hurt, "NOW? Now you see that? REALLY? You are a liar and a hypocrite, Remus Lupin. You knew you were taking my heart, and you went anyway. You know you did; do not lie. What about this time? Just another fix before you leave me alone, without a word, until the loneliness gets too much and you need human contact? Just another chance to pretend you're human because you're too stubborn to see you are just as human as I or any other fool on this earth?"

"And if I promised to always be yours?" Remus asked, looking into her eyes.

"You're already mine," she answered sadly, her hair changing to black, "You just refuse to acknowledge it. You've been mine just as I've been yours. Here, though, now, I give you the chance to leave, because I cannot take this one more time, Remus. You will break something in me if you go once again Remus. Either you're mine and acknowledge it or leave. I'm done playing this game."

"I can't leave," he answered, shaking his head, his lower lip sticking out in a gesture that made her close her eyes with her hands in a childish gesture, because otherwise she would reach for him and relieve the itch in all of her to be near him, kissing him, touching him.

She looked away. Afraid, her heart, her mind, she was afraid of his words. No matter what he said, he would leave. She knew that; she wasn't stupid. The only thing she wanted was _him, _finally and forever. Just him, all of him, his issues and his pains, she wanted all of him even if he left her side if she could only know that she would always have him back, not just once in a while, but for the rest of her life.

He clasped her hand in his, his palm slightly roughened, drawing her fingers to them and up, up to his chest. With a smile she could not fight she looked at the more tone chest which she had noted but now allowed herself to study for fear of never getting the change. Everything about him was more toned, firmer and stronger. New scars adorned his body making things low in her stomach contract, and as she looked into his darkened eyes, she understood he had hear and smelled how much she wanted him past all that there was.

"I can't leave, so I guess I will stay," he answered, capturing her lips as his finger tilted her face up.

"You guess?" she asked uncertainly as her little girl voice claimed a smile from his rosy lips.

"I'm yours."

And there was no more, but his lips and their bodies, and the ultimate feeling nothing would ever tear her from home. She writhed beneath him as their souls danced and his wolf basked in the warmth. There was no more, no more but they. There was no more, because though tomorrow he would be gone, he would always come back. He would always come back to her, inevitable and necessary, what they were. Their passion and their love, always, forever, he would come back. Then, just then, as she gasped and moved deeper into him, she was home and she knew, with the only certainty she had ever felt, that that would never change.

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**Thank you for reading. Please tell me what you think. Please, please REVIEW all you wonderful readers. I would really adore some good constructive criticism.**

**Much love,**

**Aly.**


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